Kevin's Big Boy Blues

Apparently, Kevin's diarrhea could have been half fake...meaning psychosomatic. With all the changes going on right now that suddenly makes him "big boy": he has just potty trained (no more nappies at day), goes to "big" school (to differentiate it from baby school - our term for daycare he used to frequent), and is no longer the baby in the house.

Kevin isn't really jealous of his sister. I mean, not that much, hahaha. We do have "scare" moments when he'd pull her legs, squeeze/pinch? her like a toy or play with her by putting a pillow or cover on her face when no one is watching. Mom and I call it the "cain and abel" syndrome. So now we're more careful to check him out when he approaches his sister.

But really, he is vying for my attention. He won't sleep on his bed (in his room) - he tells me granny is there but I know it isn't the real reason. When I feed Angeli sometime at dawn and he wakes up, he would reach out and make sure his hand is in my arm or we're linked elbow to elbow. Now, how I manage to do this and hold a baby and feed her at the same time...I'm elastic mom! He also likes to watch during the nappy change...even if it's at 3am!

When Angeli has an ouchie tummy and sleeps on my tummy....he likes to do the same after (we used to do that - resting on my tummy - since his birth until I got preggy with Angeli). I have not realised how heavy he has gotten (15kg based on our doc's appointment the other day), until now...coz I feel the 12 kilo difference between handling him and Angeli - plus my tummy is still fragile from the operation.

So Kevin insisted on not missing school Thursday and Friday (today) - even if it meant taking off the pampers again during the day. But he had no more diarrhea symptoms and no "accidents". In fact, I think he's getting constipated lol (hasn't done "it" yet since Wednesday, when we visited the doc) - not because of the diet we put him in but maybe fear of the ickiness (or perhaps my exasperation).

However he developed runny nose...I wonder if this is psychosomatic too or from the several hosing I had to do when he had the diarrhea. The first night of his colds - aaaaaaargh, both of them were crying (him, because he couldn't breathe and can only be comforted by his mom - his papa was trying to intervene, but he cries more; and angeli was crying too because, well, that's what babies do - oh and do they do it well!).

Last night was better...mom took the baby with her in the room. She said it's her month-sary gift to Angeli who turns one month old today.

By the way, in school today, Kevin told me when I asked him if he had been good (no pee/poop in the pants, no crying) that a boy hit him on the head and so he cried. But I think he was not that traumatised by it...just reporting it to me as a matter of factly. When we got home, he told the same story to my mom, in English (I wonder if he realises he told me the story in French).

My week has been pretty BUSY

There's no worse combination than the following:

potty training + diarrhea
diarrhea + first day of pre-school
toddler diarrhea + newborn tummy aches
newborn trying to sleep + hyper toddler

yeah!

My scar is healing well but the inside still hurts and I forget every now and then that I shouldn't stretch so much (I just love to stretch like a cat) coz it's ouchie!

Kevin was supposed to start school last Friday and he's been fully potty trained as of Wednesday :clap: (we started Wednesday) hahaha. Although he had been making trips every now and then in his "baby school" last year. This time, he really had no pampers all day long and would ask me each time he had to go.

We also went to a studio to have ID pictures taken of them (last Wednesday). For Kevin, it was required for school, and for Angeli, it is for her French ID card so she can travel within Europe anytime we need to. Kevin's pic was fast, he likes to pose. lol. Angeli's was harder because they have certain state requirements for pics, even for babies....eyes should be open (wake up Angeli!) mouth closed (and she loves to have her mouth open), eyes looking at the camera (she's too young to really look at any one on demand), face steady and front (she cannot hold her head yet so I have to hold her neck from the back - my fingers/hand should not be seen in the pictures). Finally, after several tries, the photograph succeeded a passable pic for the administration. Here are my two kids now...naughty looking Kevin and buddha like Angeli (still no hair!), lol.

However, come Thursday, Kevin suddenly became sick with diarrhea...as you can imagine, the idea of not having any pampers has been shelved. At first I thought he was just having accidents -- and I had to clean up after him (and even hose him down at times). So come Friday, we told the school he won't be able to make it (you can't go to pre school with pampers here) because he is sick. He's needy as ever, and it doesn't help that his baby sister started developing tummy aches just about the same time and needed more attention...and tummy massages.

The things we do for motherhood...**tired**

The Cesarean: My Birth Story

 Two weeks before Angeli was born, I was already having contractions. I’ve such a tiny frame and as my “night before belly” pic would show,

it just looks like I swallowed a watermelon….a feisty one. But she was able to wait until D-day.

THE DAY BEFORE: Monday, August 7 – mom arrived in France in the morning. I just had enough hours with her to turn over stuff in the house before I was set to go to check in the hospital. I’m scheduled for c-sec the next day (a date I only knew of 5 days ago). Although this is my second time to give birth, I forgot all the pre-delivery stuff they make you do in the hospital. I’ve always thought I’ll check in the way we do at hotels, get a room, and wait for room service dinner then sleep. Of course it didn’t happen that way…

I went into an observation room where they strapped wires and monitoring stuff on me. It read the contractions and the heartbeat of the baby. They also had to do gyne checks. At the same time, they had to draw blood – the famous “prise de sang” – something to do with anesthesia preparations. The lady doing it was praising my vein for being cooperative. That was before she finished and said “Ooops, sorry I forgot a tube”. So she couldn’t use the same vein and searched for another on my right arm. Ouchie! I asked her to move to my left arm. It was just as painful but finally she got what she wanted. By the time she was done, I’ve got two painful arms and the blue marks were starting to come out. The monitoring was taking too long (they kept on peeking at the results and telling me “15 more minutes”) and finally it was because the paper feed of the monitory was empty at some point that it wasn’t moving anymore. Duh. :doh:

Then I got released and found my solo room. Think I finally got rest? Nurse comes in later (it was probably past 9pm) to say “Sorry madame, but we realized we had to do your blood-type card again, and the staff downstairs didn’t know it” aka “we need to draw more blood”. She looked at my already sore arms and the blood clots that were forming … I have junkie arms! … then she found a vein to draw more blood. At the same time I was eyeing my last supper (I’m not allowed to drink nor eat by midnight until after the operation).

By 10pm, another lady came in to say “You have to be shaved tonight”. Cool! *sarcasm*
She must have used my grandfather’s razor. Amazing I had skin left after the shave. Then she noticed my finger and toe nails, which took me hours to polish :nails: the day before (imagine how difficult it is to polish toenails with a belly bump). “Sorry madame, but you need to remove the polish”. They didn’t even have acetone so I had this weird bottle of oil that takes about 5 minutes scrubbing time per nail….and I have 20 of them. I told the lady that my husband can bring proper nail polish remover the next day, but they insisted on having it done that night. Halfway through the job, she assisted me in doing it because she said I need to get rest.

D-DAY: Tuesday, August 8. Of course I didn’t get enough rest and I’m already starving and thirsty. They made me drink something though – something that will help fight acidity problems and it tasted like gin tonic, lol . I was told to wash myself with Betadine scrub (during the shower I was red all over with the solution but they remove easily when you rinse). I put on the hospital robe. Then they put dextrose IV…another pricking episode. And I’m less mobile now. The worst is to come…the catheter. Why can’t they put this when I’m under anesthesia, I don’t know. Even with my first delivery, I can remember this is the most painful experience ever. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Before 10am, they wheeled me to the operating room. Hubby with our camcorder waited outside – he’ll be there when baby is out. I saw my doc and different nurses in charge of different things (anesthetists, midwife, child care, assistants, etc.). It was cold in the operating room. I had spinal anesthesia (epidural/peridural) – it was taking them long to mix whatever coz I remember being in my “cat back” position a long time, in the cold, waiting for them to puncture my back. Finally they did it, and I was asked to lie down. I can feel a warm sensation on my legs. Good , the anesthesia is working.

Then they put all sorts of straps again and monitors so I couldn’t really move my arms (not due to anesthesia)…I can still move my legs though and that panicked me. I’m supposed to be immobile from tummy to the feet. So I told the lady beside me, “Pls. don’t cut me yet coz I can still feel my feet moving.” She replied: “It’s normal, I put something in there that allows you to move/feel your feet while not the rest of your lower body.” Still, I didn’t trust what she said. Panic, panic, panic. What if I feel them cutting me?

Then the nurse said, “Madame, they started now.” Hmm…that’s a good sign. If I’m already cut up and am still lying there normally, it means the anesthesia is working where it should. However, my heartbeat rate was already up and whatever it is in the monitor (I can just hear them talking about it) and suddenly I had the urge to cry and cry. And I did. I think I just had my panic attack experience. I didn’t have that with Kevin before. I had my oxygen mask and I’m not sure if they put anything else in there to calm me --- and the ladies started trying to calm me. One of them wanted to keep my mind off the operation. She asked me my firstborn’s name. However, since I was talking under my mask, she couldn’t hear me and asked me to repeat several times. Finally she admitted she was hard of hearing. She is stressing me more! Later, she asks, what are we going to name the baby. This is the conversation where I swear I could have killed her have I not been strapped in there:

Moi: Angeli (spells it out)
Her: No “e” at the end? But in French, girl names (usually) end with “e”.
Moi: Well, it’s not a French name. It’s Italian. (actually it's latin in origin, lol)

(She leaves me for two minutes, then comes back)

Her: Madame, your last name is Coquelin, so you’re French, not Italian. So there must be an “e” at the end right?
Moi: (Thinking of strangling the girl that is supposed to “calm” me with her small talk…but pretended to be drowsy instead).

And this was the same nurse who registered Angeli’s birth in the hospital and true enough, the paperwork had Angelie written on it. Fortunately those aren’t official documents.

I’m not sure if it’s her or the panic attack or the combination of everything that’s happening, but I started to be nauseous. I asked for this container where I can spit/puke on just in case. Then it started coming out. I have been vomiting non stop, and Angeli wasn’t even out yet. They were taking their time maybe. With Kevin I remember they just had a hard time extracting his shoulders (he was breech). Then I heard a baby’s cry. My little angel was finally out. They showed her to me and the first I noticed was she looked like the ultrasound face I saw. I was able to kiss her and it’s the last time I saw her for the day because I was never able to open my eyes anymore after that.

Not only I was vomiting and nauseous at the same time, but I also had vertigo. The vertigo sensation is when I open my eyes and everything is spinning 360° - like riding a fast-paced carousel. The last time I had that bad was in 2002. So the rest of the day, they were trying to treat all of those symptoms that are related to my: acidity problems, anemia, and vertigo history. I’m probably the most over-medicated person that day and then docs came in and out wondering if whatever was happening to me was because something went wrong with the operation. Even when I was wheeled back to my room (still vomiting nonstop) – I’m still fully aware of what’s happening around me (I can hear clearly and I’m awake), I just couldn’t respond to it nor look at it….they’re all talking about which meds to put in my dextrose and at what dose. I also know that my family (mom, hubby and Kevin) visited me that afternoon and they were able to see Angeli, take pictures, and hubby even fed her twice. I couldn’t do a thing. I tried to tell them to give me tanganil (a pill I use when I had vertigo) but it was hours after before they finally gave it to me (and that’s the only time I started feeling better)--- because they were trying to rule out other causes --- when I couldn’t even look at the doctors who wanted to check me. This lasted the whole night. My visitors left, Angeli slept at the nurses’ station, and I was being treated the whole night.

AFTER: The next morning at 6am, I rang for the nurses. I can open my eyes now and I said I want to see my baby. They brought me Angeli and she stayed with me from then on. That’s the only time I also found out details like: born 8/8 at 10h49am, 2.905kg, 47cm – scored 10 on her Apgar. She’s also very pink. As Kevin said “Angeli is pink, I’m blue” .

For the rest of my hospital stay, I just had to take several pills – six types. They also starved me for two days (I hated that but it was necessary – however mom and hubby bought me contraband snacks). I also have daily “prise de sang” to monitor the iron content of my blood (my poor arms) and nightly injections on my legs for blood something (I still don’t get what it is for; I just let them do it). But everything is not as bad or painful anymore when you know the baby is out and healthy because it’s all the matters.

Hubby registered her birth at the city hall – she’s officially known with three names: Angeli Yvonne Myrna Coquelin. Angeli is the name we want for her, Yvonne is after hubby’s grandmother, and Myrna is my mom’s name. Now at home:

May, June, July

Ok, it's just start of July now...lol. It's been several months I haven't written anything here.

Updates:

May. Kevin has moved from being a Barney fan to Harry Potter and Jurassic Park fan. He'd watch the DVDs over and over again - then skip the scary parts (he's really good with the dvd remote).

No potty habit yet. He met my aunt Marie who was here for a visit with her school colleagues. He called her Tita Lola. He also went with me to the Church several times --- at least now he knows what a church is and he knows that I sing with the choir. Each time he sees my choir folder or a music sheet, he says "for choir". Everyone says he's adorable and well behaved. ***knock on wood***

June. I had my concert this month. The Philippine Madrigal Singers visited too - they just won the grand prix at Tours. Emman stayed with us for a weekend - and Kevin was thrilled. I'm getting heavier and heavier -- difficult to move really. But Kevin is getting more and more of a help - no more pousette, he walks when we take the "bus-choo-choo". Hubby said he's like my little slave...he's very helpful with chores that need bending (putting the clothes in the washing machine, for example) or looking for my slippers.

It's also the World Cup month - we have football almost every night. Kevin is getting pretty good with his kicks too. He has the World Cup official T-shirt (courtesy of ninang Ruth) that he wears each time France has a game. We also have a new telly (flatscreen). The old telly is now at Kevin's bedroom (same goes with the dvd). We exchanged rooms btw, because ours had more space and we figured Kevin and the baby will need more of that.

July. We are at the start of the month. Tonight, France plays the semis against Portugal. I'm sure Kevin is pretty much used to the noise and excitement (especially when France scores) -- we'd open the window and scream, like the rest of our neighbors. Kevin loves that part. I'll also have my 3rd ultrasound mid month to make sure we're having Angeli soon and not Boy (we haven't figured a name for a boy baby). We're inviting mom to come next month, in time for the delivery....*goodluck*

Kevin's routine is pretty much the same. Wakes up, drinks chocolate milky (nesquick), plays, watches Midi les zouzou, helps me cook, have lunch, waits for Rex (German, dubbed in French police show @ 2, hero is a dog), we play with books and stickers, go out if weather is fine to 4 parks near our house), back to eat merienda (gouter), siesta if really tired, game shows on the telly, wait for papa to come home.

He has turned 3...

Been a long time since I last wrote an entry. Here's a summary in bullets, before I try to print all my entries for safe keeping.

• He turned 3 on the 16th of January 2006.
• He had éclair au chocolat as his "cake". Was really sick then, I couldn't bake him anything - not even get up the bed to get him a glass of orange juice. Pathetic. He did have a good video clip when he's trying to blow the candles.
• He went to Geneva at the end of Jan with his dad to attend a baptism. It's his 5th trip out of France (others were Philippines, England, Germany, US).
• He stayed with my in-laws for almost a month in February. Well, someone had to take care of him during my sorry pregnant state.
• Eventually, his mom joined him - they got to spend Valentine's day together and dad, who was left in Paris, sent flowers.
• He's such a bilingually talkative kid now.
• Somewhere along the way, I realize that his capacity to read letters/numbers (whether it's in two languages or not) is not the norm for his age...so I must be doing something right. I'm sure it's the same thing with his tendency to identify countries through flags and cars through colors and brands.
• I remember the first few weeks of March as being terrible in terms of dealing with his character. He's not a "saint" anymore. I think it has something to do with seeing his mother weak for 2 months...he probably thinks he can do whatever he likes now. And my ILs had a different way of raising him. But as I've gained my strength - the authority figure is back. He's ok now.
• I enrolled him for school - classes start in September. Six months to perfect his potty training.
• Fast forward to this past week...he started developing the fear of the wind. It got very windy in La Défense and we were strolling with JL. Then suddenly he cries and asks to be taken in my arms aka "carry me, mom" (which I physically couldn't and shouldn't right now). I thought he was just tired. We found out later that his imagination tells him the wind is going to blow us away...(note to self: don't let him watch superman now). He was really convinced that even at night, he'd tell me "I'm afraid of the wind...maman et papa...flying in the sky." So now, he refuses to go out for walks...unless I put him in his stroller (he prefers the bigger one too...to make sure it's heavier and more wind-proof).
• Saturday, April 1. He took his toilet seat and put it over the adult one. He sat and pretended to pee. I'm used to that (normally, nothing comes out but I let him do it. I'm one of those who believe never to force kids to potty train -- they'll do it when they're ready). Anyway, this day, something else happens. He pooped. Congratulations! First toilet performance at home. (He pees in the toilet sometimes when he's in daycare). Although it wasn't his intention - in fact he was surprised to see °2 in there, I congratulated him and told him he did a great job.
• Yesterday...I remember getting mad at him several times for touching my stuff or drawing on the bed. After releasing my anger, I just felt like crying in the kitchen (hubby was there to console me). I hate being angry, and I hate to be the "bad guy" - but it's part of parenting.
• Today, April 3. He went to the toilet to pee, without telling me. This time, he didn't sit down. I think he tried it the "boy's" way. But having not completely removed his pampers, and the seat is also a bit too high for him, he ended up spraying part of it on his shirt, and the rest on the floor. Even though I have to clean up the mess....I think it's a positive situation. Shows his independence, willingness to do it, and recognition of the difference between girl and boy pee positions.
• Hours later, he'd just visit the toilet and flush. That's 3 liters of water flushed for nothing. I explained that we flush after pee and poop. He lingered inside the restroom (which is separate from our bathroom) and I was afraid he's going to do something naughty like put the roll of tissue paper in the toilet. So I asked him to go out and I locked it from outside. Big mistake. Next thing I know, he comes to me to say he pooped. Seeing he has no pullups on, and the toilet is locked....the only conclusion is that he left it/them somewhere else. I was right...he did it just in front of the restroom. I imagine the scenario (the way CSI experts do)...lil guy felt n°2 coming...went to the toilet..but it's locked. Too late, time to do it. Then calls his mom. Again...the intention was there. Or maybe I'm being too positive with this potty (lack of training) thing. Thank goodness it's an easy to clean type of...droppings. LMAO.